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[goingtobeunwell]

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[brushoff]

Not really? I just wish that he wouldn't have gone back to Kiryu in the first place. [ Dorian sighs ] Which makes me a horrible person, I know, but I don't want to just be someone's back-up plan.

[goingtobeunwell]

[Oof. Now there's a thought. He rubs his hand over his chin.]

Has anyone ever been your backup plan before?

[brushoff]

I don't think so? [ he admits, though he does sound a little confused about the matter as he talks. ] But to be honest, there were only two people in my life that I was ever serious serious with. I've had plenty of flings, [ including a few people who didn't realize they were flings, ] but I've only gone...mmm, exclusive with people recently.

[goingtobeunwell]

So that begs the question -- would you have felt the same if he started seeing another person who wasn't Kiryu?

[brushoff]

[ There's a pause as Dorian thinks things over. ]

I'll be the first to admit that part of my hesitation about all this is Kiryu is also close to Trixie. I love Trixie and adore her dearly, but I don't want to be part of some worrying little love triangle where my inmate and I are on different axies.

But I do think I would have felt the same. At least, a little bit. Jealousy isn't a good look on me and yet here we are.

[goingtobeunwell]

Yet we feel how we feel. I understand all-too-well.

[He sits back as he mulls over Dorian's dilemma.]

I don't envy the predicament that's been thrust on you. It sounds tricky, and like some very firm boundaries would need to be set up if you did decide to continue being with Pagan. But Dorian...time for mortals, time here on the Barge, is fleeting. Too fleeting to remain 'in your feelings', as they say.

[brushoff]

[ Dorian raises his eyebrow before he points out, ]

I have nothing but time.

[goingtobeunwell]

You’re missing the point. If you want to be with mortals, you need to think like a mortal. Or at least have feelings like one — like an impending sense that time is ending and every moment counts.

[brushoff]

If time is ending and every moment counts... [ Dorian frowns for a moment thinking things over before he decides, ]

Then I'm not sure if I want to be with someone where I'm always second choice. We can still be friends, of course. But just that.

[goingtobeunwell]

Then there’s your answer. [He nods softly.] If that’s the way you feel, you need to be honest with him. For your own health.

[brushoff]

[ There's a moment's pause before Dorian sighs dramatically. ] I know. And I will. But urgh, feelings are hard.

[goingtobeunwell]

They are. And you don’t have to talk to him immediately, but…do. I think it will help.

[brushoff]

[ He nods. There's another pause before Dorian asks, ]

You know, I'm at least three times as old as you are. In theory, I should be the sensible one, and yet here you are, being smarter than me.

[goingtobeunwell]

Only when it comes to some things. It helps to have an outsider’s perspective.

[brushoff]

Someone who's not in the middle of my soap opera can be useful to help get me out of my soap opera.

[goingtobeunwell]

[He chuckles.]

Is there anything else I can do to assist?

[brushoff]

Talk with me? [ Dorian asks. ] How have you been lately?

[goingtobeunwell]

[Aye, he can do that much. He gets up and goes to turn on the kettle -- this electric one is incredible!]

I've been...attempting to find my place here. But well. Feeling far better than I had.

[brushoff]

I can only imagine how awkward it is going from inmate to warden. You've got to adjust to a whole new set of rules faster than you expect.

[goingtobeunwell]

I'd imagined what kind of organization I might find on the other end of things -- very little, as expected. Just men and women, trying their best to make a change.

[brushoff]

Oh there's no organization, [ Dorian sighs. ] And half the time we're at each other's throats due to some nonsense. You're lucky you were still an inmate when that nonsense with the big red button happened.

[goingtobeunwell]

I doubt I would have chimed in either way. I've no taste for leadership now.

[He sets a cup of tea down in front of Dorian.]

[brushoff]

Whereas I unfortunately have a taste for being the one person to say the thing everybody's thinking about but no one wants to mention, [ he shrugs.

But oooh, tea. Dorian gives Crozier a little nod as he takes the cup of tea and indulges in a little sip. ]

[goingtobeunwell]

Someone has to do it. At least you've got a thick skin.

[He winks and sips his own cup.]

[brushoff]

They can fuss at me all they want, [ Dorian shrugs. ] I can handle it.