“Temporarily,” he says, voice hoarse. Everything is temporary and frail, because Crozier’s own existence feels so temporary and frail.
It doesn’t seem fair to bring this up now. Ram has too much in his mind, too much inner and outer turmoil for Crozier to now lay this burden on him. But he asked, and Crozier can only be honest. He pulls back and touches his hand to Ram’s face, so very aware of the lack of wrinkles on his handsome face. There’s maybe a gray here or there in his hair, but nothing apparent, no real marks of aging aside from the stress that he wears in his muscles.
He should speak plainly. “I can’t give you permanence. I’m older, Ram, and not in the best health. I can’t promise you tomorrow or the next day, not with any certainty.”
He can’t deny that he’s made Rama happy, because he can feel it in every touch and see it with every smile. But he isn’t the wise choice, he isn’t the one who can provide a solid future. What if he dies and leaves Ram here in the frozen wasteland alone? It’s nothing that he wants, for himself and for Rama, but it’s too real to be outright ignored.
no subject
“Temporarily,” he says, voice hoarse. Everything is temporary and frail, because Crozier’s own existence feels so temporary and frail.
It doesn’t seem fair to bring this up now. Ram has too much in his mind, too much inner and outer turmoil for Crozier to now lay this burden on him. But he asked, and Crozier can only be honest. He pulls back and touches his hand to Ram’s face, so very aware of the lack of wrinkles on his handsome face. There’s maybe a gray here or there in his hair, but nothing apparent, no real marks of aging aside from the stress that he wears in his muscles.
He should speak plainly. “I can’t give you permanence. I’m older, Ram, and not in the best health. I can’t promise you tomorrow or the next day, not with any certainty.”
He can’t deny that he’s made Rama happy, because he can feel it in every touch and see it with every smile. But he isn’t the wise choice, he isn’t the one who can provide a solid future. What if he dies and leaves Ram here in the frozen wasteland alone? It’s nothing that he wants, for himself and for Rama, but it’s too real to be outright ignored.