He waits for Rama to collect his thoughts, happy to do so, patiently smiling and running his thumb back and forth over his knuckles. He could sit like this all night - if his body allowed that sort of thing - and be happy, so long as Rama stayed beside him.
His answer is surprising - and more than a little heart wrenching. Rama’s only started to realize things when he’d showed up in the snow so beaten that it seemed like he would die. He’d only puzzled things out when Crozier was on death’s door, and then after he’d slept and slept and slept…and when he’d started to heal he’d still been fragile. Hell, he’s still fragile now, unable to move long distances by himself or wash his own hair. Rama had all these weeks to mull over his thoughts, but even as he watched him slowly get better he hadn’t known what to do with said thoughts.
His smile, vaguely sad as he thinks about the man he loves ruminating and suffering all for his sake, turns just a little more bashful. Of course he had to ask, and Crozier needs to be truthful in turn to honor Rama’s vulnerability with him. “I…ah.” He laughs a little, looking away from him briefly. When was the moment exactly? There had been a thousand little moments, all of them converging eventually into what he feels for him now. But he knows when he first let himself think it, right down to the minute.
“When your feet were still healing,” he says, recalling when it all locked into place for him. “And we’d come from town and happened upon the cairns. That was when I knew.”
Rama had been….he’d been everything that day. He bowed his head to cairns and made space for his grief, and then after they’d sat in front of the fire and laughed and teased each other. He’d been smitten from that moment on.
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He waits for Rama to collect his thoughts, happy to do so, patiently smiling and running his thumb back and forth over his knuckles. He could sit like this all night - if his body allowed that sort of thing - and be happy, so long as Rama stayed beside him.
His answer is surprising - and more than a little heart wrenching. Rama’s only started to realize things when he’d showed up in the snow so beaten that it seemed like he would die. He’d only puzzled things out when Crozier was on death’s door, and then after he’d slept and slept and slept…and when he’d started to heal he’d still been fragile. Hell, he’s still fragile now, unable to move long distances by himself or wash his own hair. Rama had all these weeks to mull over his thoughts, but even as he watched him slowly get better he hadn’t known what to do with said thoughts.
His smile, vaguely sad as he thinks about the man he loves ruminating and suffering all for his sake, turns just a little more bashful. Of course he had to ask, and Crozier needs to be truthful in turn to honor Rama’s vulnerability with him. “I…ah.” He laughs a little, looking away from him briefly. When was the moment exactly? There had been a thousand little moments, all of them converging eventually into what he feels for him now. But he knows when he first let himself think it, right down to the minute.
“When your feet were still healing,” he says, recalling when it all locked into place for him. “And we’d come from town and happened upon the cairns. That was when I knew.”
Rama had been….he’d been everything that day. He bowed his head to cairns and made space for his grief, and then after they’d sat in front of the fire and laughed and teased each other. He’d been smitten from that moment on.