Raju turns his head away from the kiss to press his face into Francis' neck. This isn't the way he'd usually hide his expression when he needed to, but the impulse to hide it comes easily, and he's glad. The rest of Francis' life. Once he'd had the calluses built up to endure it, the need to keep disappointing the people who love him. Those calluses must have worn away when he wasn't looking, because it hurts.

A moment later Francis is pulling away, and Raju's smile at him is a little less relaxed and a little more polite, but it's still there; Francis is in front of him and happy, he's happy now, and Raju is trapped in this place anyway. It's like having Francis' arm around him, when he couldn't have pulled back if he'd tried to. He takes a breath deep enough to pull at his chest and holds it, lets it slowly out, studies the way Francis is sitting as he pulls back from him. The hand over Francis' head starts running itself down over it, smoothing down his hair, and the feeling soothes the tension inside Raju's chest a little. His other hand runs fondly down over Francis' chest. Raju can do that now, as much as he likes, and the new possibilities there are enough, nearly, to distract him the way he wanted them to.

"What is it?" he murmurs. "Uncomfortable?"