"I'm livid," he tells him, trying to turn his hand to squeeze Raju's palm against his own. "I just can't light fires over it."

His delivery may be dry, but the warmth there isn't. He ducks to try to Raju from turning away from him again. "I'm in too much pain for anything more than this right now. Maybe it's resignation as well. I hope not, but..."

Crozier frowns quietly. His head is still tilted up, but his gaze is unfocused now. He's considering how much he wants to say, whether Raju should know about these expectations. Well. Of course he should. Raju should know it all. They're in this together now, aren't they?

"Little and Irving look to me to lead," he starts, slow and with very careful pauses for his breath. "Jopson and Goodsir are more reasonable, in the end they were far more practical...but none of them can shake the 'sirs' or 'Captain', and every time I do nothing I feel as though...." He grimaces softly, putting his hand up to his chest a moment. It feels tight. "I'm killing them a second time."