Raju looks surprised, and then troubled; he grips Francis' hand tighter. "I don't," he insists, hating the quiet way that Francis said it, resigned to believing Raju could ever think of him that way. "I..."
He finds himself looking away, down at his hands. It's harder, he realises, to meet Francis' eyes. "It's what this place needs, even if they don't deserve it. A man who can be kind, like you. But I... don't think I can be that way. Not now. You don't feel..."
He shakes his head, searching for the word, then looks up again to frown into Francis' eyes. There's that pull to looking at them, even like this. The bruised, swollen one only makes him want to cover Francis up somehow, put himself between this man and the rest of the world. But that isn't all he wants, right now. He names it. "...angry? I'd be too angry, where you are. Or... disgusted. I don't know."
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He finds himself looking away, down at his hands. It's harder, he realises, to meet Francis' eyes. "It's what this place needs, even if they don't deserve it. A man who can be kind, like you. But I... don't think I can be that way. Not now. You don't feel..."
He shakes his head, searching for the word, then looks up again to frown into Francis' eyes. There's that pull to looking at them, even like this. The bruised, swollen one only makes him want to cover Francis up somehow, put himself between this man and the rest of the world. But that isn't all he wants, right now. He names it. "...angry? I'd be too angry, where you are. Or... disgusted. I don't know."