When Francis puts his arm under Raju's head Raju lets out a surprised huff, smile widening, then softening at Francis' expression, the way he looks contented and happy. That Francis can look that way on a day like this one was makes the humming thing inside him shine a little brighter. The way that Francis had sobbed in his sleep, that noise that he'd made, that couldn't seem more different from the way that he looks now, satisfied, with his eyes closed.
Having Francis' arm under his head, Francis thinking of the slightly awkward angle of their necks laying this way and looking to solve it, it feels like being cared for, like when Francis cooks for him. It's a shame, Raju realises, that he hadn't been able to finish what Francis made for him earlier. He'll have to finish it tomorrow. He moves his own arm next to the floor slowly, not wanting to disturb Francis too much, and eases it under Francis' head, too, and then he lays that way, eyes still not moving from Francis' face.
It's rare, to be able to look this way. He works hard enough to drop, when he can manage it, and on those nights tends to fall asleep first. And laying further apart in their cabin, where it's warm enough to afford the distance, means there he's closing his eyes and trying to find his way to sleep on his own. He doesn't usually get to look like this. He'd gotten to look all through Francis' story, though, watching his expression shifting with the rising and falling of the tale and its moods, and he gets to look now.
The story drifts through the back of his mind, moving harmless and fascinating in the place the rest of the day's thoughts had been. The sight in front of him takes up the rest of the space, the feeling in him, whatever it is that's pulling at the edges of his lips and filling him up. It's just on the edge of too much but it's impossible to mind it, not when Francis is relaxed and happy and drifting toward sleep. Raju won't notice it when his own conscious attention dissolves into barely conscious thought, into feeling, and then into sleep, but it happens in time. If any nightmares try to take hold of him after that they lose their grip before long under the warmth and the wellbeing and the weight safe over his side and Raju sleeps heavily, once he manages to get there, and won't remember his dreams when he wakes up.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2024-06-09 08:02 pm (UTC)Having Francis' arm under his head, Francis thinking of the slightly awkward angle of their necks laying this way and looking to solve it, it feels like being cared for, like when Francis cooks for him. It's a shame, Raju realises, that he hadn't been able to finish what Francis made for him earlier. He'll have to finish it tomorrow. He moves his own arm next to the floor slowly, not wanting to disturb Francis too much, and eases it under Francis' head, too, and then he lays that way, eyes still not moving from Francis' face.
It's rare, to be able to look this way. He works hard enough to drop, when he can manage it, and on those nights tends to fall asleep first. And laying further apart in their cabin, where it's warm enough to afford the distance, means there he's closing his eyes and trying to find his way to sleep on his own. He doesn't usually get to look like this. He'd gotten to look all through Francis' story, though, watching his expression shifting with the rising and falling of the tale and its moods, and he gets to look now.
The story drifts through the back of his mind, moving harmless and fascinating in the place the rest of the day's thoughts had been. The sight in front of him takes up the rest of the space, the feeling in him, whatever it is that's pulling at the edges of his lips and filling him up. It's just on the edge of too much but it's impossible to mind it, not when Francis is relaxed and happy and drifting toward sleep. Raju won't notice it when his own conscious attention dissolves into barely conscious thought, into feeling, and then into sleep, but it happens in time. If any nightmares try to take hold of him after that they lose their grip before long under the warmth and the wellbeing and the weight safe over his side and Raju sleeps heavily, once he manages to get there, and won't remember his dreams when he wakes up.