Raju nods. Something is pressing on him too heavily just yet to let this out by moving, tapping his fingers, jittering his feet. The weight of what’s happened. He wants to stand and pace and do push ups, pull ups, work all of this out of him until he can sit still without it pushing at him, rest a little. He wants to stay here and keep touching Francis so he remembers his friend is alive.
He stays where he is, takes a slow breath — he can do that now — lets it out, feels his back under the one hand and as he speaks watches Francis’ front under the other. For all it feels easy to assume he’s familiar with all of Francis by now, he doesn’t usually touch him here, in this way, just settled like this. It feels better to think about than what he’s actually saying. But Francis should know. “The last time this happened, I— when it came to the church. That was when I left the Community Hall. Because I had a nightmare about it, and— well. There’s going to be more, I think. A little more often. For a time.”
Raju’s frowning, watching his hand curl, its thumb moving back and forth. The fit of the seal skin is than any other material, and the feel of it is smooth. He tries to keep his focus on it. It’s almost like he can feel Francis’ skin underneath his, this way. Francis hasn’t complained about that fire and panic in the mornings yet, or shown even a hint of impatience or real frustration about the times he’s woken up that way. Somehow, he hasn’t. Raju doesn’t understand it. But he still deserves the warning, particularly if they’re going to be travelling. It might effect where they can sleep, if nothing else.
no subject
He wants to stand and pace and do push ups, pull ups, work all of this out of him until he can sit still without it pushing at him, rest a little. He wants to stay here and keep touching Francis so he remembers his friend is alive.
He stays where he is, takes a slow breath — he can do that now — lets it out, feels his back under the one hand and as he speaks watches Francis’ front under the other. For all it feels easy to assume he’s familiar with all of Francis by now, he doesn’t usually touch him here, in this way, just settled like this. It feels better to think about than what he’s actually saying. But Francis should know. “The last time this happened, I— when it came to the church. That was when I left the Community Hall. Because I had a nightmare about it, and— well. There’s going to be more, I think. A little more often. For a time.”
Raju’s frowning, watching his hand curl, its thumb moving back and forth. The fit of the seal skin is than any other material, and the feel of it is smooth. He tries to keep his focus on it. It’s almost like he can feel Francis’ skin underneath his, this way. Francis hasn’t complained about that fire and panic in the mornings yet, or shown even a hint of impatience or real frustration about the times he’s woken up that way. Somehow, he hasn’t. Raju doesn’t understand it. But he still deserves the warning, particularly if they’re going to be travelling. It might effect where they can sleep, if nothing else.